Two Truths. No Lies.

cointracker16I have a friend who doesn’t tell the truth.
I don’t call her a liar, (although that’s what you’d call a person who doesn’t tell the truth) because she doesn’t know she’s lying. To her, she’s telling the truth as she understands things in the moment. It’s not until things go wrong that she realizes she chose to ignore the red flags and warning signs.
After the guy she was head over heels in love with, broke her heart, then she clearly saw the red flags. Post-breakup she told me parts of his story she’d previously left out- his relationship history, the vices he indulged in, his behavior when he got angry.
In the beginning, I was happy for her, I encouraged her to pursue her relationship with him based on what she’d told me, because I believed she was painting a complete and accurate picture of him. When I asked her why she’d left out the ‘bad’ when sharing the ‘good’, she said she thought she was telling the full story. The truth is, she wanted so badly for him to be ‘the one’ that she chose to ignore the things that later eroded their relationship. She lied to herself for so long that she believed it as truth.
Tell yourself the truth, first. The more you lie, the less trustworthy you become.
Ever seen the Youtube challenge tag called, “Two Truths, One Lie”? One person states 3 things and another person guesses which two are true and which is the lie. That’s cute for a harmless video, but it’s detrimental in life. It’s bad enough to lie to other people, but it’s truly damaging to lie to yourself. If you can’t trust you, no one else will either. Tell yourself the truth, your word is all you have.
A lie is anything that erodes a person’s ability to trust you.
Tell the truth no matter how ugly, hard, or how much you wish it were different. Then you can start the work of making the ugly truth, prettier.
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Two Mistakes I Hope You Never Make

Episode 53 of the seanwes podcast was my first podcast. Ever.
I consumed it all and freeloaded until I was told that I was a freeloader.
I paid for a one-month membership (to the seanwes community) and didn’t use it.
Mistake#1

In 2012 I “overlapped”, before doing so had a name. I worked a full-time job (that didn’t exhaust me) and I saved enough money to live on for a year. I quit that job June of 2012, and ten months later an injury forced me to move across the country, back home with my mom, exactly what every 33 year old wants. Not.

I had a choice, anger or action.
I chose action. I chose action after a month of sulking. Mistake #2
When the sulking was over I taught myself WordPress, plugins, and enough html and css to make a respectable website. I borrowed my brother’s camera and learned photography basics. I wrote blog posts, newsletters, scripts, and tweets. I recorded, edited and uploaded videos of myself and others. I woke up early and wrote 1k+ words per day and turned it into a book. I funeralized my bio dad and stepdad within a year, which reconfirmed that life is but a vapor, and that time waits for no man.

Everyone is waiting on me. They don’t know it, but everyone my life and its work will touch, is waiting on me to perform, produce, and build a business.

The longer I underperform, the more people I let down.
For me to improve and my business to grow, I needed to find my tribe. I needed to surround myself with a group of people who were smarter than I, and who thought like me.

I joined the seanwes community July 1, 2016 and forced myself to be all-in for 60 days (instead of 30 so I couldn’t get my money back). Yesterday was day 60. I’ve wanted to cancel my membership a few times. I’ve doubted whether it was the place for me, whether I can be of help to others and whether others could or cared to help me. I don’t always say the “right” things in there; I’m still learning. Along with being introverted, I have a sarcasm and east coast air that doesn’t always translate well in text, so I usually just read what others write and stay quiet, but I return every day. I know as I settle further in, I’ll be of value to others, as they have been to me. For years I let the cost of entry deter me. I was right to be cautious, but wrong in being fearful; the experience has been priceless.

I tell you all the time to surround yourself with people who are on or above your level, people who match or exceed your ambition. I was a hypocrite in telling you that, because I wasn’t doing the same. I thought I could go it alone, and for years I did. After years of building what I thought was a business, 60 days into being a community member, it feels like I’m back to square 1, as though I did it all wrong for all those years. If I allow, I can let the thoughts of wasted years and time beat me down, but I don’t.

When you know better, you do better.
I shared in the last post that changes for Launch are coming, those changes are the direct result of investing in myself, my work, and ultimately, you.

If you have a hobby or passion you’d like to turn into a business, if you have a product or service you want to grow- find your tribe. I recommend the seanwes community of course.

Whatever you do, don’t do what I did:
1. Don’t not invest in yourself, first. (Double negative intended)
Find a course, person, or group who challenge and drive you, and jump in with both feet.
2. Don’t spend time being angry or worrying about things you can’t change, like “wasted years”.
Focus on what you can change and be grateful for the time spent learning what not to do.

Thank you for bearing with me as I found my footing.
Let’s get ready to Launch.

I’ve Failed You

I feel bad because I think I’ve failed you. I failed to provide you with the education you need, I failed to effectively help you solve your problems, and I failed to make this website and organization an actual resource. I didn’t meant to. I didn’t realize until recently how much deeper my work here should go.

Launch was legally formed in 2013; there was 6 years of work, reading, writing, trying, and failing before that and there has been more of the same since. On July 1, 2016 I made the decision to join a community of like-minded thinkers. I joined a group where global creatives and entrepreneurs gather online to teach and learn from each other. Joining has been wonderful and overwhelming because I realized how much I wasn’t doing. I did what I tell you, find people who think like you, but who are smarter than you, (meaning who can offer you an objective opinion and advice based on their outside viewpoint) and that’s what this group is for me.

Through the sharing of their stories, work, and struggles, I have realized that Launch Young Adults needs a change. Change is good when it’s the result of growth and insight. 

October 1, 2016 the changes will kick off with a new website look. The new site will reflect Launch’s new mission, premiere new blog post content, and a new video series. Launch is an educational resource and the website will be a hub, a library of all things real-life; free and paid courses, ebooks and published books, stories from ambitious young adults like you, and an actionable weekly newsletter.

The new, focused, mission means I’ll be able to help more of you, and in turn, you’ll be able to help others. 

Thank you for sticking with me through years of clouded attempts, major failures, and small successes. I’m tempted to delete every blog post and video I’ve posted in the past, but it’s all part of the journey.

If you’ve ever asked yourself or someone else, what is Launch? Thank you. I have asked myself that as well, and not having an answer challenged and drove me to concretize the abstract. I knew I wanted to help and I knew who I wanted to help, but I didn’t get clear enough on how best to help and of what value I could be to the people the work served. I encourage you to do the same with whatever you’re working on or struggling with; start at the finish-line of your success and then walk backward until you reach the work you can do today.

See ya soon!

Lia

Forgiving Suck

EXHIBITION

Forgiving someone makes us feel like a doormat, like we’re allowing someone to walk all over us or to get away with something. How come when we’re the person who has been wronged we also have to be the person who forgives? It sucks. Especially when the person you’re forgiving isn’t even sorry.

Ever been in a situation where someone did something to you or said something about you and they either have no clue that what they did affected you? Or they know they hurt you, but they don’t care? That’s the worst, why do they deserve to be forgiven?

You’ve seen the quotes on cute little magnets from some wise person that, “forgiveness is for you, not the person you’re forgiving”. But, that does nothing to make forgiving someone feel better.

Forgiveness isn’t a feeling.

Depending on how badly you’ve been hurt, you’re never going to feel like forgiving someone, it’s just one of those things that you have to choose to do. But why?

Well, because all those wise people were right, you forgive people, even those who aren’t sorry, because you deserve the relief. Forgiving people is about letting go the anger of what they did to you. It doesn’t mean they weren’t wrong, it just means that you care too much about yourself to continue to let a toxic, negative emotion like anger live inside you when you have a choice to let it go.

Your friend starts talking to the person you told them months ago you liked. You’re pissed, they have no clue that you’re mad, or they know you’re mad, but they don’t care. What’s your move? After the meltdown, after you delete their number and unfollow them, when you pull yourself together, now what? If they don’t know you’re mad, tell them. If they know you’re mad and they ask for forgiveness, that should be easy. If they don’t seem to care, well you get to choose.

You can carry on choosing to not forgive them and letting that anger and unforgiveness build within you, or you can decide, you know what, it’s not worth my happiness. I forgive them for being slimy, and I’m moving past it. And, the power’s in your hands anyway, because you now also must decide whether they’re still allowed in your life.

Forgiveness doesn’t really suck, it just feels like a blow to the ego, like you’re being a chump, but really, you’re doing yourself the favor.

I. GIVE. UP.

I GIVE UP
The dip.
The valleys.
The middle of the day.
The end of a long week.
What quitters call the end.

The dark and lonely hours.
The first few years of business.
When giving up seems like the only way to remain alive.
Those are the days.
Those are the times.
Those are the make or break moments that separate the pack.
Remind yourself of the things that are true, because right now you’re all emotions.
Emotions deceive; emotions will tell you that you’re too tired, too sad, hopeless, stuck.
Your mind will attempt to convince you to give up, to throw in the towel, to call it quits, that there are easier ways.
That it’s ok because you won’t be the first or the last to try and fail, that you tried hard and you deserve to stop now.
That is when you have to be quiet.
Find a space & take a moment to dial into the core of you.
Find the truth of why you started, why it’s worth fighting for.
This is when you feel the emotions, but you don’t act in response to them.
These are the days, the weeks, the times that lead to success.
These moments are why so many people live beneath their means, below their potential, unhappy and unfulfilled.
It is up to you to decide; feel your way through the dark, step on the truth that you can’t see, but you know is there.
Remember the last time something felt impossible to overcome, that it’d never happen, you’d never reach your goal?
It ended.
You survived.
It will happen again.
You will come out of it again.
Equipped with even more knowledge.
Even more self-awareness, and resolve.
These things, these moments, these times are supposed to happen.
It would be nice to see everyone who started, finish, but it doesn’t happen.
It’s only those who endure the scrapes, the bruises, the fire, the calluses, the dip, the tribulation, the darkness.
Only they come out as gold.
I. Give. Up.
I give up the idea that life is easy.
I give up believing that being a good person is enough.
I give up the habit of allowing false beliefs and emotions to bring me down.
I give up trying to understand why things don’t turn out the way I wanted them to.
I. Will. Work.