Two Truths. No Lies.

cointracker16I have a friend who doesn’t tell the truth.
I don’t call her a liar, (although that’s what you’d call a person who doesn’t tell the truth) because she doesn’t know she’s lying. To her, she’s telling the truth as she understands things in the moment. It’s not until things go wrong that she realizes she chose to ignore the red flags and warning signs.
After the guy she was head over heels in love with, broke her heart, then she clearly saw the red flags. Post-breakup she told me parts of his story she’d previously left out- his relationship history, the vices he indulged in, his behavior when he got angry.
In the beginning, I was happy for her, I encouraged her to pursue her relationship with him based on what she’d told me, because I believed she was painting a complete and accurate picture of him. When I asked her why she’d left out the ‘bad’ when sharing the ‘good’, she said she thought she was telling the full story. The truth is, she wanted so badly for him to be ‘the one’ that she chose to ignore the things that later eroded their relationship. She lied to herself for so long that she believed it as truth.
Tell yourself the truth, first. The more you lie, the less trustworthy you become.
Ever seen the Youtube challenge tag called, “Two Truths, One Lie”? One person states 3 things and another person guesses which two are true and which is the lie. That’s cute for a harmless video, but it’s detrimental in life. It’s bad enough to lie to other people, but it’s truly damaging to lie to yourself. If you can’t trust you, no one else will either. Tell yourself the truth, your word is all you have.
A lie is anything that erodes a person’s ability to trust you.
Tell the truth no matter how ugly, hard, or how much you wish it were different. Then you can start the work of making the ugly truth, prettier.
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[youtube http://youtu.be/oOK5VRehEHg]

Did you know that worser is in the dictionary? Crazy. I refuse to acknowledge that.

Pants on Fire

I Lied Today.

I told the truth right afterward and then I apologized.

I felt terrible.

It was a tiny lie that would not have affected anyone.

But that wasn’t the point. Is there even such a thing as a ‘tiny lie’?

I strive to be a person of integrity, an upstanding citizen, a person to whom those younger than me can look up to. After all, I’d just written about lying here.

No one would have known that I’d lied…

Except me.

And I just can’t have that.

I NEVER want to talk the talk but not walk the walk.

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I don’t write this to pat myself on the back; I should have never even thought about lying, let alone done it.

I write this to keep myself honest and to let you know that you aren’t alone if you’ve faced a similar situation lately.

If you haven’t told the truth yet, do it.

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Humble yourself and bite the bullet.

Apologize, and mean it.

Next time, take a second and decide to tell the truth from the beginning and deal with the consequences.

 

“So?”

Do you recognize this kid?

c_01His name is Little Bill.

He was the star of a cartoon that came on Nick Jr.

I was forced delighted to watch this show one day while babysitting a few years ago.

I still remember the ‘lesson’ from an episode called ‘The Meanest Thing to Say’.

The title is deceiving, it didn’t actually teach you mean things to say.

Little Bill was being picked on and people were saying mean things to him.

His dad taught him a great comeback

He told him to learn to control himself and just say,

“So?”

I thought that was genius.

How many times should you have just said so, and then just let it go?

People talk about you, say things that aren’t true, hate on you, dislike you? So.

People are mean, I know, I’ve been mean before.

But when you’re on the receiving end of it, it’s no fun.

It gets harder to just walk away and shrug things off the older you get, but it’s worth the effort.

Take the higher road, don’t engage. Say “so?” and keep it moving, or say nothing at all.

Besides, most mean things people say are really just cover ups for their own hurt. Screen Shot 2013-01-30 at 11.27.13 AM

Lying

6a0120a85dcdae970b01630509825a970d-800wiWe’ve all done it.

Sometimes we get caught and sometimes we feel so bad that we tell on ourselves.

Sometimes the effect of our lie spreads so far and so fast that telling the truth seems to be the only way to ‘fix’ the situation.

Last week, the world listened to a once-deemed ‘hero’ admit the truth.a_560x375

The truth was, that he lied.

Lance Armstrong, the most popular cyclist in the world.

What makes the Lance Armstrong story such an attention grabber are many:

  • the number of wins he amassed

  • the cancer foundation he started and the yellow wristband they made popular

  • his denial of drug use

What I have taken from this story is what his truth being told has caused me to think about.

My lies were not of Armstrong’s magnitude, I don’t think.

But, a lie is a lie.

Yes, his lies cost people millions of dollars, hurt numerous people, etc.

I’m not fighting his case, it’s not my battle. I’m just pointing out the fact that this man is just like you and me.

So, learn from this.

Allow yourself to admit that you have most likely lied, deceived, or omitted, and remain conscious aware of what you say so you can avoid doing it again.

Whether it’s a little white lie, a bold-faced lie, or an exaggeration… think of the people it may affect.

How you would feel if someone found out the truth?

How you would feel if the lie was being told to or about  you ?

I heard someone define a lie once, and it has become one of my favorite quotes…

“A lie is anything that erodes a person’s ability to trust you.”

Tell the truth.

whether it feels good or not

whether it’s easy or not

whether you want to or not

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It’s worth it.