Ready To Rumble

RUMBLE
You will be rejected.
Sometimes the thing you want, you won’t get.
Sometimes you’ll get a flat out “no”.
Being the best person for the job isn’t always enough.
Some things require you to fight for them.
Sometimes you have to get your hands dirty.
Feel angry, be hurt, and cry.
And then, fight.
Fight for a ‘yes’.
Fight to get a second chance.
Fight for an opportunity to show or speak or do.
Fight for the thing you worked so hard for.
Everything won’t come easy. Most things will require a lot of consistent hard work. And ever after all that, you still may not get it or be given a chance. But it doesn’t always end there. Lace up your gloves, get back in the ring, and fight for it. There’s usually more than one way to have what you want, so find another way. Fix what’s broken, improve, grow, makes changes; just don’t stop at “no.”

Control and Power

CONTROL
Two years ago I put up a post called, Power and Control. That post was based on the quote pictured above which I heard in a car commercial. I decided to revisit that quote and post today because I think it’s worth repeating.
A few years ago I struggled with anger issues and although it seems like anger would make you feel strong and powerful, especially in the heat of the moment, it didn’t. In fact, the anger made me feel weak and then feeling weak made me angry and the cycle repeated itself. It wasn’t until I took the time to understand the anger, the cause of it and how to deal with it that I truly felt powerful.
When I learned to exercise control, I felt like Thor. I mean I felt like I could have pulled that sword from that stone with my pinky, I felt so strong. It was empowering having the knowledge and ability to choose more pleasant thoughts and actions than anger.
If you want to feel powerful, exercise control. Easier said than done, but worth doing.
Self-control with what you DO: Choose the actions that get you closer to your goals when you really just want to take a nap.
Monitor what you SAY: If it isn’t true or helpful, if it doesn’t improve the silence, shut your trap.
Change what you EAT: If you know you shouldn’t, if you can make it for cheaper, if you’ll regret it later or your trainer would smack it out of your hand, eat its opposite.
Control is the ultimate expression of power, and you know how much you love to be in power.

We Don’t Need Easy Lives

Easy Schmeasy.
heinleinEasy lives are for wimps. The straight and narrow path, the always have the answers, never a grey sky or hard day… who needs that?
Not you. You need the sucky days, the situations that you can’t believe you’ve found yourself in, the moments when there’s absolutely no one to talk to or tell, the ‘toughest time of my life’ kinda weeks. That’s the stuff worth living through.
Great days, success, easy weeks, direction, hope, all that is fantastic, feels great, and it’s what we want. But the flip side of that, those are the things that force us to problem solve, to challenge our beliefs, to form our own opinions, to test our strength, and that hand us a medal of honor at the finish line.
Hate not the times when you feel lost, scared, or alone. Don’t run from the unknown, the scary, the new and the solo adventures.
One day, the dream, the goal, the big great idea you had is going to be before you. The opportunity that you’ve wished for will be presented to you, and the fear and realness of it happening will make you wanna puke. But, when it happens, go for it. Just get out there and try it. Give it all you can, your best effort, and if you fall, if you fail, if they laugh, great. People who do nothing are the people you’ll never hear of, they’ll never create something great, they’ll never change the world or the life of another person. We don’t need any more of those types of people.
We need you. Even if you don’t yet know what you want to do yet.

Get To Work

G E T  T O  W O R KThere’s a legal age for when you can drink, drive, vote, and run for president. But that’s where the restrictions pretty much end.
Work. Service. Entrepreneurship.
Those things don’t have a start or ending age. There are 6 year olds who run businesses, and there are 60 year olds living abroad, volunteering their time in the name of charitable service.

‘As soon as’ thinking.
As soon as… I grow up, graduate, live on my own, have enough money or time, then I can do something great. When one or all of those things are in place, then I can make a difference, start a business, volunteer, or create things. But, if you’re old enough to read and understand this, then you already know that there’s always going to be something else. There will always been another thing needing or begging for your attention. Life doesn’t slow down, time is not a renewable resource, and if you’re waiting for the perfect conditions, you’re really just making an excuse.

Whether you are a full-time student, working full-time, or raising a child, there is always time for the things that are important. If it matters to you, it’s up to you to set aside the time to do it.

If you want to learn something new, or get back into drawing, dancing, running, etc. get to work. If you have a business idea, if you see a problem in your family, community, or country that you have a solution that could resolve it, you have to make it important enough to work on it.

The people we admire most, the buildings we marvel at, the design that inspires us, the movies we love, all those things exist because some person decided to see them through. One person made a decision and dedicated their time to that thing and kept at it.

Hard things, big things, and even small and meaningful things take time and dedication. They require patience and perseverance, they may even demand that you put other things on the shelf for a little while.

If it’s worth doing, it’s worth working hard for.
Get to work, chump.

Dear Future Me

START
Five years from now…
Who will you be?
What will you be doing?
What will you have accomplished?
Scroll through pictures or posts and see who you were, what you were doing, or who was most important in your life years ago. Does it feel like that time went by fast?
Right now, five years from now probably feels like a long time, but before you know it, it will be January 2020. What do you hope will change in the future? Who do you hope to be in 3, 5, 10 years?
FutureMe.org
Future Me is a website that allows you to send your future self an email. If you’re graduating in a few years, if you plan to start a new job, to get married, have a kid, own a business, etc. Wish your future self a happy 30th birthday and make note of who you are and what you like the day you wrote it. Offer yourself encouragement, advice, or a reminder. Send yourself an email to read, a private message from the you of today to the future you.
Example Letter:
January 28, 2020
Dear Future Me,
I hope things are going well. Right now you have 5 months left of school and you are going to work through the summer. Things at home are bearable but hopefully by the time you’re reading this, things have improved. How’s David? Are you guys still together? And if not, are you happy being single or with someone who treats you well? I hope so, because you deserve to be. Have you met those three big goals you set for yourself, and if not, why not? Get a move on. I just wanted to send you this email to encourage you to keep trying things, even when they are hard. Be nicer to yourself and kinder to others.
Take Care.
Love,
Me

When checking the Twitter tag #DearFutureMe I found that YouTuber Troye Sivan made a video titled ‘Dear Future Me’. I started to delete this post because of that, but… the more the merrier right?
Here’s his.

Forgiving Suck

EXHIBITION

Forgiving someone makes us feel like a doormat, like we’re allowing someone to walk all over us or to get away with something. How come when we’re the person who has been wronged we also have to be the person who forgives? It sucks. Especially when the person you’re forgiving isn’t even sorry.

Ever been in a situation where someone did something to you or said something about you and they either have no clue that what they did affected you? Or they know they hurt you, but they don’t care? That’s the worst, why do they deserve to be forgiven?

You’ve seen the quotes on cute little magnets from some wise person that, “forgiveness is for you, not the person you’re forgiving”. But, that does nothing to make forgiving someone feel better.

Forgiveness isn’t a feeling.

Depending on how badly you’ve been hurt, you’re never going to feel like forgiving someone, it’s just one of those things that you have to choose to do. But why?

Well, because all those wise people were right, you forgive people, even those who aren’t sorry, because you deserve the relief. Forgiving people is about letting go the anger of what they did to you. It doesn’t mean they weren’t wrong, it just means that you care too much about yourself to continue to let a toxic, negative emotion like anger live inside you when you have a choice to let it go.

Your friend starts talking to the person you told them months ago you liked. You’re pissed, they have no clue that you’re mad, or they know you’re mad, but they don’t care. What’s your move? After the meltdown, after you delete their number and unfollow them, when you pull yourself together, now what? If they don’t know you’re mad, tell them. If they know you’re mad and they ask for forgiveness, that should be easy. If they don’t seem to care, well you get to choose.

You can carry on choosing to not forgive them and letting that anger and unforgiveness build within you, or you can decide, you know what, it’s not worth my happiness. I forgive them for being slimy, and I’m moving past it. And, the power’s in your hands anyway, because you now also must decide whether they’re still allowed in your life.

Forgiveness doesn’t really suck, it just feels like a blow to the ego, like you’re being a chump, but really, you’re doing yourself the favor.

Growth Opportunities

Growth

Discomfort brings growth.

It’d be great if we could go through life being ‘good people’ and because we were kind to others, obeyed our parents, did well in school, and showed up on time for work, that we would have no problems.

However, it’s yet to happen, and it never will, because it isn’t the way life goes.

Imagine how physically weak you’d be if you never lifted anything that required effort. Your body only grows stronger as the result of lifting, stretching, pushing your body to lift weight, and engaging your muscles.

Life is the same way. The easy life, a life where you never have to do anything you don’t want to, where you don’t have to put forth any effort, or where nothing ever challenged you, caused you to try, to think, to ask questions, that kind of life would leave you weak, undereducated, and dependent.

It’s through the trials in life, the challenges, the hard days, the tough weeks, the bad moments that we grow. It’s in those times that we figure out who we are, what we can withstand, how to handle obstacles, and what we know and still need to learn.

Anyone who has ever started a business, graduated, raised a child, moved out on their own, etc has endured bumps, hard times.

Would they have liked to avoid them? I’m sure.
Did they feel like quitting at times? Probably.

But, do you know what happens when you endure, when you go through, and not give up in the middle, when you choose to complete what you’ve started and to not quit, you strengthen yourself. Not only have you strengthened your resiliency muscle, but you’ve added to your knowledge and wisdom bank, and you now have a better understanding of just what you’re capable of.

Hard things don’t kill you. They may feel like they will, they may wreck your patience, get on your last nerve, make you cry, or just plain suck. But, they are growth opportunities, and those experiences are what you can reference when encouraging others to do the same.