Five years from now…
Who will you be?
What will you be doing?
What will you have accomplished?
Scroll through pictures or posts and see who you were, what you were doing, or who was most important in your life years ago. Does it feel like that time went by fast?
Right now, five years from now probably feels like a long time, but before you know it, it will be January 2020. What do you hope will change in the future? Who do you hope to be in 3, 5, 10 years?
Future Me is a website that allows you to send your future self an email. If you’re graduating in a few years, if you plan to start a new job, to get married, have a kid, own a business, etc. Wish your future self a happy 30th birthday and make note of who you are and what you like the day you wrote it. Offer yourself encouragement, advice, or a reminder. Send yourself an email to read, a private message from the you of today to the future you.
January 28, 2020
Dear Future Me,
I hope things are going well. Right now you have 5 months left of school and you are going to work through the summer. Things at home are bearable but hopefully by the time you’re reading this, things have improved. How’s David? Are you guys still together? And if not, are you happy being single or with someone who treats you well? I hope so, because you deserve to be. Have you met those three big goals you set for yourself, and if not, why not? Get a move on. I just wanted to send you this email to encourage you to keep trying things, even when they are hard. Be nicer to yourself and kinder to others.
When checking the Twitter tag #DearFutureMe I found that YouTuber Troye Sivan made a video titled ‘Dear Future Me’. I started to delete this post because of that, but… the more the merrier right?
Forgiving someone makes us feel like a doormat, like we’re allowing someone to walk all over us or to get away with something. How come when we’re the person who has been wronged we also have to be the person who forgives? It sucks. Especially when the person you’re forgiving isn’t even sorry.
Ever been in a situation where someone did something to you or said something about you and they either have no clue that what they did affected you? Or they know they hurt you, but they don’t care? That’s the worst, why do they deserve to be forgiven?
You’ve seen the quotes on cute little magnets from some wise person that, “forgiveness is for you, not the person you’re forgiving”. But, that does nothing to make forgiving someone feel better.
Forgiveness isn’t a feeling.
Depending on how badly you’ve been hurt, you’re never going to feel like forgiving someone, it’s just one of those things that you have to choose to do. But why?
Well, because all those wise people were right, you forgive people, even those who aren’t sorry, because you deserve the relief. Forgiving people is about letting go the anger of what they did to you. It doesn’t mean they weren’t wrong, it just means that you care too much about yourself to continue to let a toxic, negative emotion like anger live inside you when you have a choice to let it go.
Your friend starts talking to the person you told them months ago you liked. You’re pissed, they have no clue that you’re mad, or they know you’re mad, but they don’t care. What’s your move? After the meltdown, after you delete their number and unfollow them, when you pull yourself together, now what? If they don’t know you’re mad, tell them. If they know you’re mad and they ask for forgiveness, that should be easy. If they don’t seem to care, well you get to choose.
You can carry on choosing to not forgive them and letting that anger and unforgiveness build within you, or you can decide, you know what, it’s not worth my happiness. I forgive them for being slimy, and I’m moving past it. And, the power’s in your hands anyway, because you now also must decide whether they’re still allowed in your life.
Forgiveness doesn’t really suck, it just feels like a blow to the ego, like you’re being a chump, but really, you’re doing yourself the favor.
Discomfort brings growth.
It’d be great if we could go through life being ‘good people’ and because we were kind to others, obeyed our parents, did well in school, and showed up on time for work, that we would have no problems.
However, it’s yet to happen, and it never will, because it isn’t the way life goes.
Imagine how physically weak you’d be if you never lifted anything that required effort. Your body only grows stronger as the result of lifting, stretching, pushing your body to lift weight, and engaging your muscles.
Life is the same way. The easy life, a life where you never have to do anything you don’t want to, where you don’t have to put forth any effort, or where nothing ever challenged you, caused you to try, to think, to ask questions, that kind of life would leave you weak, undereducated, and dependent.
It’s through the trials in life, the challenges, the hard days, the tough weeks, the bad moments that we grow. It’s in those times that we figure out who we are, what we can withstand, how to handle obstacles, and what we know and still need to learn.
Anyone who has ever started a business, graduated, raised a child, moved out on their own, etc has endured bumps, hard times.
Would they have liked to avoid them? I’m sure.
Did they feel like quitting at times? Probably.
But, do you know what happens when you endure, when you go through, and not give up in the middle, when you choose to complete what you’ve started and to not quit, you strengthen yourself. Not only have you strengthened your resiliency muscle, but you’ve added to your knowledge and wisdom bank, and you now have a better understanding of just what you’re capable of.
Hard things don’t kill you. They may feel like they will, they may wreck your patience, get on your last nerve, make you cry, or just plain suck. But, they are growth opportunities, and those experiences are what you can reference when encouraging others to do the same.
When you deposit more money into your bank account than you withdraw, you always have money available.
When you spend more time investing in relationships and people than in things, you will always have a friend.
It’s the time of year when people make lists and check them twice, to buy gifts for people they love.
It is kind, loving, and gracious to think of others and to do things that you think will make them happy.
It is also worthwhile, lasting, and fulfilling to nurture relationships, to connect, and to invest.
From about senior year of high school until the year after college graduation, major changes and transitions happen. Boyfriend, girlfriend, and best friend relationships change; new people enter your lives, childhood friends move, you outgrow some people and others you stop hearing from. As new people enter your life, remember that they are worth more than anything you can buy. Cultivate relationships with people, spend more time than money, create more memories than bills.
Are you the person who is there for everyone else, but that no one is ever there for?
Have you ever wished you had a friend who treated you as well as you treat them?
If you know how that feels, be mindful that someone doesn’t feel that way about you.
Because in the end, it’s the people, the memories, and the relationships that make up a fulfilling & happy life.
Fill people up more than you drain them.
Give to people before you take from them.
The middle of the day.
The end of a long week.
What quitters call the end.
The dark and lonely hours.
The first few years of business.
When giving up seems like the only way to remain alive.
Those are the days.
Those are the times.
Those are the make or break moments that separate the pack.
Remind yourself of the things that are true, because right now you’re all emotions.
Emotions deceive; emotions will tell you that you’re too tired, too sad, hopeless, stuck.
Your mind will attempt to convince you to give up, to throw in the towel, to call it quits, that there are easier ways.
That it’s ok because you won’t be the first or the last to try and fail, that you tried hard and you deserve to stop now.
That is when you have to be quiet.
Find a space & take a moment to dial into the core of you.
Find the truth of why you started, why it’s worth fighting for.
This is when you feel the emotions, but you don’t act in response to them.
These are the days, the weeks, the times that lead to success.
These moments are why so many people live beneath their means, below their potential, unhappy and unfulfilled.
It is up to you to decide; feel your way through the dark, step on the truth that you can’t see, but you know is there.
Remember the last time something felt impossible to overcome, that it’d never happen, you’d never reach your goal?
It will happen again.
You will come out of it again.
Equipped with even more knowledge.
Even more self-awareness, and resolve.
These things, these moments, these times are supposed to happen.
It would be nice to see everyone who started, finish, but it doesn’t happen.
It’s only those who endure the scrapes, the bruises, the fire, the calluses, the dip, the tribulation, the darkness.
Only they come out as gold.
I. Give. Up.
I give up the idea that life is easy.
I give up believing that being a good person is enough.
I give up the habit of allowing false beliefs and emotions to bring me down.
I give up trying to understand why things don’t turn out the way I wanted them to.
I. Will. Work.